8 Dating Patterns That Keep Smart Women Stuck in Love

What if the reason love finally works is not that you tried harder, but because you stopped trying to control it?
Laurie Gerber sits down with Dominique Sachse to explore what it really takes to break long-standing relationship patterns and become truly ready to receive love in midlife. Dominique shares her journey through heartbreak, grief, and self-examination, including the negative theories she had to dismantle about worthiness, age, distance, and timing.
Together, they talk about the moment Laurie calls “the click,” when striving gives way to openness, why faith or a higher framework can calm the ego, and how honest conversations about money, sex, health, and life logistics create real intimacy instead of pushing it away. 
This episode is a reminder that hope is an active choice and that love after 50 becomes possible when you stop letting a past version of yourself decide what comes next.

Dating After 50 Topic List & Timestamps 
00:00–01:23 — Welcome & Introduction.
Laurie introduces her guest Dominique Sachse, journalist, podcaster, and public figure, and sets up why this hope-isode is one she has been wanting to share since the very beginning of the podcast.
01:23–03:32 — What This Episode Promises. 
Laurie previews the obstacles, patterns, and breakthroughs ahead, and teases the "really great result" Dominique achieved without giving it away just yet.
03:32–07:15 — The Fixer Pattern. 
Dominique names the relationship pattern she kept repeating — choosing men with potential and trying to earn love through performance — and traces where that wound came from.
07:15–11:06 — The "Do It All" Generation. 
Laurie and Dominique unpack how the cultural messaging of the 70s and 80s created a generation of women who became the guy in the relationship and then resented it.
11:06–14:26 — The Slow Realization. 
Dominique describes how her pattern recognition happened gradually through therapy, reflection, and the painful lessons of her first marriage.
14:26–19:23 — The Pendulum Swing. 
Dominique explains how leaving one kind of relationship sent her swinging to the opposite extreme, and why Laurie believes this is exactly why three times is a charm.
19:23–25:09 — The Detox and the Hard Question.
Dominique shares how grief, relationship loss, and a breaking point forced her to stop labeling the men and start asking what her own role had been.
25:09–34:42 — The Faith Foundation. 
Dominique and Laurie go deep on what spirituality and ego surrender actually changed, and how putting something bigger than yourself at the center transforms not just dating but everything.
34:42–44:04 — How She Met Vic.
Dominique tells the full story of how a text from an old friend, a karaoke contest, and a message she believes came from her late mother led her to the relationship she almost didn't say yes to.
44:04–51:08 — Busting the Negative Theories.
Dominique and Laurie dismantle the most common stories women tell themselves about why love won't work, including distance, age, and the myth that all the good ones are gone.
51:08–57:08 — Use Your Voice. 
Laurie and Dominique make the case for speaking up about what you want, including in the bedroom, and why women of this generation have to unlearn the habit of staying silent.
57:08–01:01:19 — The Height Conversation. 
Dominique debunks the idea that a man's height determines whether you'll feel safe, feminine, or fulfilled, and shares what she discovered actually matters instead.
01:01:19–01:09:16 — The Liabilities Conversation. 
Dominique walks through how she and Vic navigated the real logistical and personal complexities, including kids, aging parents, and being public figures, with honesty and without blowing things up.
01:09:16–01:15:22 — Kind Is Sexy. 
Laurie and Dominique close with the truth about why women have to do their own work before a kind, loving man can feel attractive to them, and what staying open, curious, and in a receiving mode actually looks like.

❤️ Guest Resources — Dominique Sachse
Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/@dominiquesachsetv
Website: https://dominiquesachse.tv
Instagram: https://instagram.com/dominiquesachse
Facebook: https://facebook.com/DominiqueSachse
YouTube: https://youtube.com/@dominiquesachsetv
Link page (incl. TikTok and more): https://linktr.ee/DominiqueSachse

👉 Watch Laurie’s free training at
https://lauriegerber.com/webinar

Stay Connected With Laurie for Dating Advice Over 50
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@lauriegerbercoach
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lauriegerber_coach/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lauriegerberdatingcoach
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lauriegerber
Podbean: https://lauriegerbercoach.podbean.com/